Stupid Cold, and Feelings, and Horomones!

Sorry for the rambling today, but I am suffering from a cold and my horomones are out of control and I have all these weird feelings that I need to let out. As many of you know, we have lived with my parents for the last 15 months. My parents are saints for allowing us to be here this long and they never complain about us or ask us when we're leaving. Due to many unfortunate circumstances we still own a house in St. George that is worth nothing, has a high interest rate, and high balance still (we only lived in the house for one year when we had to leave it). When we left I knew it was the right choice, but ever since I have felt lost and confused. I know lots of people end up living with parents, but it seems like they leave with a large sum of money to put down on a house. We will leave here with nothing but our good credit, but yesterday I had a realization that we might not even leave with that. The reality is that we cannot afford to hold on to that house and move out of my parents, and we can't let go of the house without destroying our credit or carrying a high balance with us. Yesterday when I was on the verge of tears I called Tim and he tried to comfort me but I still hung up crying. I then went to the BOM and started reading. I read about Nephi in the wilderness with his family when his bow breaks and everyone is so angry with him. Then, the Lord helps him fix his bow and I read the scripture that says by simple things the Lord can bring about great things. This really made me cry because I knew it was exactly what I needed. All the odds were stacked against Nephi and the Lord helped him. This is how I feel. All the odds are stacked against this stupid house and I am just praying now for our "small thing" to help great things come to pass. At this point, a small thing could be just knowing where we are supposed to be. Tim's company is trying so hard to get an office up and going in St. george and I don't know if we should continue holding out hope that we can go back or move on and settle up here. Add to this the fact that Emmary starts school this fall and I have no idea where we will live, what school she will attend, or if she will have friends. Add again the fact that we are having another baby in April and there is absolutely no room for another child here. Another small thing would be some kind of resolution with the house. I thought things worked out so well for us to hold onto it becuase we were supposed to move back into it, but now I don't know if it's that or just bad luck. If you can't tell, I'm questioning myself and my ability to know when it's an answer or just what I want to hear. I am yearning for the confidence in knowing that we are where we are supposed to be and I don't have it. I know that this is the time of year when we count our blessings and are grateful for what we have. Everytime I approach the Lord in tears over my frustration and sadness I spend 5 minutes crying and then 10 minutes thanking Him for all He has given me. This is not a matter of ingratitude. We have been abundantly blessed this last 15 months, but I am ready to move on and be independent again. We are all in desperate need of our own space. So, sorry again for the rambling. I never do this on my blog, but I felt like I should today, so I did. Thanks for listening :)

My Awesome Husband

I just have to brag about Tim for a minute. We bought our Odyssey last September and I just wanted to pay Forrest Motors (the best place to buy a Honda) the $600 to install a dvd system in the van. Tim was adament that he would find a way to do it cheaper. It has taken 15 months, but Tim has kept his promise. He found a dvd system on KSL for $35 that has the dual screen thing (one for each headrest) and he spent a lot of time wiring it into the system of the van and it actually works and he didn't destroy anything! Then he found a pair of wireless headphones for the kids for $10. Yesterday he got the router in the mail that sends the signal for the headphones to work with the dvd player- also for $10. So, that's $550 saved. I love this man! I don't have much patience, but he does- which is how he manages to stay married to me:)

One Baby or Two?

Sorry, no pictures in this post today. I will give a clear explanation on what has been going on in the baby scene the last couple of weeks. At 16 weeks I went in for my checkup and I was measuring a good month ahead of schedule. My midwife asked if I was positive about my dates, which I was, and then asked how sick I have been. I have been so very sick this pregnancy when I wasn't sick with my other two. She then asked if this could be a different sex baby. Nope, I have one girl and one boy. Then she asked if twins run in the family. Yes, my dad is a twin. She asked if I usually measure big. Nope, I usually have dangerously low levels of amniotic fluid so I measure small if anything. She braced me for the fact that there might be twins. I told her I'd already had an ultrasound at 10 weeks and we only saw one baby. She said it is rare, but twins can line up and you don't notice, especially if you are not looking for them. We were looking for a heartbeat because the Doppler didn't pick it up.She also said their hearts often beat in sync so hearing 2 heartbeats is rare. She said we would just wait and see and keep a close eye on it. 3 weeks later, I was going crazy thinking that I can feel 2 babies moving and called to see if we could check again to see if there are 2. She kind of treated me like I was being irrational and that it wasn't' a big deal. I am hoping this was related to stress right before Thanksgiving, but I got off the phone feeling stupid. I finally went in yesterday for another ultrasound and met a new midwife (I go to a practice of midwives, I don't just have one I see). She said she is not an expert ultrasonographer and she wasn't super confident in her ultrasound skills, but she would do her best. Immediately we saw one baby with a strong heartbeat. The baby's head was on the left side of the screen. Then a minute later the baby's head was on the right side of the screen. The midwife said, "Woah, that's weird, the baby is facing a different way now. Did you feel the baby flip?" I had not felt any movement. Then a minute later the head was back on the left side. She did her best, but we will know for sure jan 5th when I have my big ultrasound. We are waiting until January so that the cost can go towards our deductible, even though I am about 20 weeks now. She measured me again, and I am still a month big. Anyway, that is the whole story. I would really like twins, but really I feel so incredibly blessed to be having one. This pregnancy has been a different experience in every way, but I hear that is what happens with number 3. I will post more info in January and until then keep myself busy with the holidays!

Ladies Trip!!

So much fun!! I just got back from a ladies trip to see Wicked in Denver. Yes, this is the 4th time this year I have seen it, and yes, it is really THAT good! I would see it again, given the chance. Some girls from my ward and sweet Melly from St. George packed up and headed out Thursday. We stayed in Longmont, Co and we didn't take a single picture until we were leaving the hotel. Then, on Friday we drove into Denver and paid up the wazoo for valet parking at our posh hotel, The Magnolia. We were just a block from the 16th street mall and 4 blocks from the theatre. We had so much fun shopping, laughing, eating, not sleeping :) The show was incredible and I was the only one who had seen it before. The best thing about seing Wicked again and again is seeing it with someone who never has. We laughed and cried and had a blast. Too bad we had to come back to reality, but I was ready to see my kids. Davis, however, has been punishing me for leaving him by whining and crying CONSTANTLY since I got back... It was worth it!!

Shona, Holly, Melanie, Christina

Before the show-notice Shona's awesome shoes!

Which is good and which is Wicked?

Yep, 4th timer here!

Exciting News

Okay, most of you already know, but I'm pregnant with baby number 3. I am finally through the first trimester and still waiting to feel better. It looks like I will be due in late April (I tend to go early, so I will just say late April and call it good). This pregnancy experience has been much different than I have had in the past. I ended up having 2 early misscarriages trying to get this baby here. It has been a long road, but I think I can finally let myself be excited and happy. We have had an ultrasound and heard the heartbeat so the baby seems to be healthy and happy. Emmary is so excited for this baby. She is just begging me to make it a girl, I told her I will do my best :) Davis is clueless and in complete denial. He's a bit attached to his mommy. We are not going to find out the sex of the baby because we have one of each and they were both born in May, so there is nothing we need to buy (at least that's what Tim says- I know better:) ) Anyway, we just wanted to share our happy news with the blog world!

Photo Shoot

I finally got my kids' pictures taken, and then I finally got them put up on the blog. The computer is in the kids' room, and the only time I have to get on the computer is when Davis is sleeping. This means I hardly ever get on the computer anymore. It's kind of freeing actually. Anyway, here are some of my faves of the kids. Thanks Steph for doing such a great job!

What a Day Wednesday!

This is pretty sad that it has taken me a whole week to write about our exciting day LAST Wednesday, but hey, I do the best I can! So, poor Emmary had to have a tooth extracted and it was a pretty traumatic experience for me. I did not enjoy giving her Valium and then watching as the Anesthesiologist gave her a shot in the arm to sedate her, and I especially did not like watching my child come out of the anesthesia. I hope we never have to do this again. Emmary was such a trooper though and she handled it so well. She recovered fast and enjoyed relaxing and watching movies all day. Well, not movies plural because she just wanted to watch Hercules again and again, but you get the idea :)



Her left side swolen and a little bruised.
Now to the second half of our exciting day. A car took out the telephone pole in front of our house- Well, luckily the neighbors house. It's always an adventure living on 70th south. This accident was pretty intense because we watched it happen and we ran out to help the guy and had him sit on our lawn for a few hours. He fell asleep at the wheel. I really did feel bad for him. How many of us drive drowsy when we know we shouldn't? Anyway, here is the lesson of the day. Be alert or you might take out a telephone pole and shut down a main road for 8 hours. Oh, and we didn't have power, phone, cable, or DSL the whole night. My kids thought it was super fun to use flashlights and pretend we were camping. I doubt you saw the accident on the news because that was the day Ted Kennedy died- lame!

This is the Jeep throught the neighbors fence. Notice if you will the T shaped pole bouncing in the air with nothing under it. The other half of the pole is next to the vehicle.

And we're off!!!

We're off for a kid-free trip to San Diego with Paul and Janet. This trip was full of lots of firsts for me and some repeats, but it was one of the funner trips we have taken. It is fun to get away with my husband, but it was even funner to be with good freinds. Janet already did a blog post that was hillarious, so I would recommend looking at my pictures, but reading Janet's blog if you want to be entertained!

In the airport, waiting to fly off.

Our first stop was seaport village. It was a cute little village right on the sea, imagine that, and we did some shopping and snacking and lots of laughing.

Elvis has left the building...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has left the building and is driving down the road on a bike that he thinks has a motor, but it really doesn't. He even has a picture of himself of the back of his bike so no one will have to wonder who he is. Also, he is very traffic savvy and was telling us to slow down here. Paul just had to snap a picture!

Old Town

Old town turned out to be one of my favorite things. Everything was cheap like Tijuana, but you didn't have to worry about being kidnapped or getting you know what from drinking the water! Plus, everything is funner when your're with fun people and Janet and Paul are hillarious! Tim really regretted not buying that mask. We ate at a yummy authentic Mexican place in the middle of the square of shops and then went back to the hotel and did some swimming and played cards and laughed all night. Playing cards is one of those things that is hard to do with kids around, so I loved being able to just relax and play.

San Diego Zoo!

Friday morning we woke up, had our free breakfast, and then headed to the zoo. I was so excited for the zoo. I had never been to the SD zoo before. It was so much fun and it turns out you don't need kids around to enjoy looking at animals!




This little Koala was sleeping in the tree. Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?

This was the best picture of the day! Watch out for those Lions! I thought only babies could do that :)

Wicked!

I know what most of you are thinking, "Holly is obsessed with Wicked" and this may be true, but in my defense the San Diego idea was there already when we found out Wicked would be playing. Plus, Paul hadn't seen it yet, so it was more for him than me :) So Friday after the zoo we rested and then got dressed and ready for the show.

Here I am at Outback showing off my shirt before the show.

Outside the theatre two drunk guys offered to take our picture. It was a surprisingly good picture considering the fact that they couldn't even walk straight!

two little love birds!

Janet and I before the show. Watch out for the Nazi ushers if you go to a show in San Diego; an old bitty came and yelled at us for taking this picture. We calmly told her that we didn't get the stage at all, just ourselves. She helped some people find their seats then came back to yell at us some more and told us that the whole theatre is copyrighted for the show and it is a federal offense for us to take pictures in there and we could go to jail. Right, because the cops in California have nothing else to do but arrest people for taking a picture of themselves inside a theatre. Oh, and while she was saying this 10 other people actually took pictures of the stage around us. Some people take their jobs so seriously...

La Jolla Beach

The beach day was one of the things I was most excited about! I bought a new swimsuit (and spent way too much money on it) and I laid out a lot so that I had a good base tan down and I was just ready to sit on the beach for a few hours and worship the sun. Well, the sun didn't come out, and it really wasn't all that warm. It was a little dissappointment, but we still got to feel the breeze on our faces and get some sand between the toes!

Paul and Tim contemplating getting in the water. They did end up going for a swim-with all of the surfers. Aparently you are supposed to swim in certain parts and surf in certain parts. The surfers finally told them they were in the wron place, but that was at time same time Tim saw a baby shark, so they were ready to get out anyway!

What a great anniversary! August 1st has always been a special day and it was even better by being on the beach with my man. We took a lovers stroll all the way down the beach and back.

Sea World

Our last event planned was to go to Sea World. Now, I haven't been to Sea World since I was about 8 and all I remember is that a seagull attacked me and ate my cinnamon roll. I was hoping this time around would be a better experience, but I was wrong. It appears as though everything else in California was closed that day becuase it was so crowded you couldn't even walk around. It was so hot and humid and the really only cool thing was the Cirque de la Mar show. I just don't think Sea World is a great place for kids. But anyway, we did it and here are some pictures from our adventure.

As soon as we walked in a Shamu show was starting so we went right in. I'm sure it takes a lot of hard work to be a killer whale trainer, but cheesy isn't even a word to describe how they were acting. C'mon- do you really need to "high five" every time you turn around? And it wasn't even for cool things they would hi-5 for. The lady who rode the whale and then jumped off his nose into the water- she deserved a hi-5, but these people were hi-5ing for giving the wales a snack! But I'll be honest that I stared crying really hard during this show, when I wasn't laughing at the trainers, because I missed Emmary so much and I knew that she would have loved watching the whale jumping around.

We're putting on happy faces, but we really wanted to go jump in the pool becuase it was so hot!!

I had just called my kids when this picture was taken. I was so sad until I heard Davis throw a fit and then I was okay being on vacation:)

At the very end of the day we got in line for the Atlantis water ride. Janet does not like water rides, she's kind of like her feline friends and doesn't like getting wet, so she sat out and waited for us. We stood in line for 45 minutes and then went on the ride which was pretty fun, but when we finished we were sitting in our boats for a long time and all the boats behind us started lining up and no one was moving. Sure enough the ride broke down! We sat there forever and then finally they had to come around and manually lift up our lap bars. I was so glad we got to ride it before it decided to break!

Temple

Before we flew home we made a stop at the San Diego temple. It was closed for cleaning so we couldn't go on the grounds, but it was still so beautiful and we enjoyed it from outside the gates. A very fitting way to end our trip I thought.